Mom

Four years ago to day it was starting to snow in Colorado. It is always so beautiful when we get the big fat snowflakes that fall from our Colorado sky. But this day the falling of the snow would signal the passing of my mother. Mom had been sick for several years, she had endured chemo, she had weathered her storms. But the last three months had been different, and we all knew that. Mom knew it, she knew this was the end of her life. And on this day four years ago, my dear mother and friend left us. Her passing was hard for everyone. I don't want to say it was harder for me, because I don't think that is true. I knew then as I know now that mom had prepared me for that day. I knew all the words of wisdom, all the lessons taught, all the snuggles and laughter was about this day. It was about letting go and going on. I know she loved me and she loved my kids. I saw that love each time they walked into the room. She was so proud of all the had done and all they would do, even without her here. She had taught me to go on with my life. To fulfill my dreams, to make my memories. Four years seems so long, but it seems like just yesterday I was calling asking for her opinion on something, now I must make my own decisions. It was just yesterday that I told her that I loved her, and now I must whisper that to her as I look toward the heavens. It was just yesterday that she held Jill's children in her arms and now she would have another one to cuddle and spoil. One she never got to meet. But today like all days my mother is with me. She guides me and still teaches me about life and relationships and letting go.....I miss her.